By
Gerard Braud
What
you don’t say is often as important or more important than what you do say,
when
you are talking to a reporter. How you stand, how you
act, how you fidget, how you move, how you stutter, how you sit, and where you
look, all says a lot about you.
The
easiest thing for a reporter to determine in an interview is that you are
nervous. When I started
my journalism
career at the age of 20, I was
five-feet-six-and-a-half-inches tall and 124 pounds soaking wet. I did not
consider myself intimidating in the least. So why is it that learned people,
such as doctors, lawyers, engineers and elected officials got so nervous? Why
did they fidget so much? Why did the sweat on their brow line and on their upper
lip?
Actions
such as sweating are harder to control because they are a result of nervousness.
However, if you follow all of the advise in this book, if you
hire a good media
training coach and if you practice
on a regular basis, then your confidence will go up and your nervousness will go
down.
Folding
and crossing your arms across your chest in an interview is almost always a sign
that you are hiding something. If you are crossing your arms because you are
cold, a better alternative is to wear warmer clothing. Sales people have long
known that a customer with crossed arms will not buy anything form you. In the
world of journalism, crossed arms means you are closed off to the premise of the
reporter’s question and that you likely are not going to volunteer any
information.
Your body language may cause the reporter to probe even deeper
because they can tell you are trying to hide something. If you are on
television, the audience at home will also see this body language and may judge
you harshly or relish in your discomfort. Many at home will sense that the
reporter has “gotcha.”
Your
eyes are the proverbial window to your soul. I suggest that in daily life you
get in the habit of looking people directly in the eye and maintaining an
appropriate level of honest eye contact. Traditionally we’re taught that looking
someone in the eye is a sign of honestly. Conversely, someone with high anxiety
caused by not telling the truth usually has difficulty looking another person in
the eye. You’ve likely heard people called “shifty-eyed.” When your eyes shift
from side to side it is an obvious sign of anxiety, discomfort, and begins to
make the journalist think that you have something to hide. Behavior like this is
a perfect example of why role playing with a video camera is so important during
media training. You may shift your eyes all the time and never realize it until
you see yourself on camera. Reviewing your interview on camera lets you observe
the behavior, then lets you work to correct the behavior.
Whether
you look up or down and whether you look left or right also says a lot about you
and what you are verbalizing, including whether you are “making it up” as you
go.
If
a right handed person looks up to the right while answering a question, they are
generally being creative in crafting their answer and it may be perceived as a
lie. If that same right handed person looks up and to their left when answering
your question, it is generally perceived that they are recalling actual facts
and telling the truth. Looking up is generally associated with questions about
things that actually happened, things you saw or people you know.
Looking
to the side has some of the same perceptions and generally applies to questions
about sounds and things you have heard. Looking down to the left and right is a
great deal less about telling a lie and more about feelings and recalling things
such as a smell, touch or taste.
A
left handed person performs these acts in the opposite direction of a right
handed person. One of the classic case studies is former President Bill Clinton,
who is left handed. As he made his infamous statement, “I did not have sex with
that woman, Miss Lewinsky,” he looked up and to the left, an indication that
this lefty was a liar.
Other
body language for lying includes touching your face, the tip of your nose,
rubbing your eyes and covering your mouth. Essentially, these are all telltale
signs that you are trying to hide something and hide, perhaps, behind your hand.
Covering your mouth, for example, subtly says you don’t want me to see you tell
a lie.
How
you sit tells us a lot as well. As a rule, never sit in a chair that rocks and
swivels. If you do, when you become nervous or uncomfortable, you will likely
rock or swivel.
Never
do an interview while sitting behind your desk. This is usually a place that is
too comfortable and very intimate to you. As a result, you may speak perhaps too
bluntly and openly because this is your comfort zone. You need to be honest, but
being behind your desk may cause you to let your guard down. Instead of sitting
behind your desk, pick two chairs in front of your desk.
Your
posture while sitting says a lot. If you cup your hands behind your head, as
well as if you lean back while doing this, it indicates that you perhaps feel
superior to the person interviewing you. Akin to this, slouching in a chair
during an interview could be an indication that you are cavalier, arrogant or
feel superior to the interviewer. Many people who are described as “cocky” sit
slouched or leaned back in their chairs. During my days on television, we
affectionately called these people “cigar smokers” because they looked like the
fat-cat, cigar smoking corporate executive made infamous in the black and white
movies of the 1940s.
The
position of your legs while you sit also says a lot. Women and men tend to have
different sitting postures. Women who have been through some degree of etiquette
training have been taught to place their feet on the floor and to cross one
ankle behind the other. This is always a polished looked. Most women, when
crossing their legs cross at the knee. The most common way women cross their
legs might be called a scissors cross or inverted V cross, with the left foot
pointed right and the right leg pointed left. From the knee, a woman’s feet
spread like an inverted letter V. This cross is also generally accepted, but
when nervous, most women begin to twist the ankle of the foot that is suspended
above the floor. Some may even swing the suspended portion of the leg from their
knee to their foot. The more nervous a woman is, the more the leg takes on the
appearance of kicking.
Some
women cross their legs at the knee, then wrap the upper foot behind their calf.
This is a certain sign of being timid, embarrassed or lacking self-confidence.
This is never an acceptable posture.
Somewhere
between the ankle cross and the inverted V cross, is when a woman crosses her
legs at the knees, but tilts both legs in the same direction. For example, if
the upper leg is the right leg with the foot pointed toward the left, then the
lower leg, which would be the left leg, would also have the foot to the left. In
the world of etiquette, this type of leg cross is thought to be the more
acceptable of the two ways women generally cross their legs, although etiquette
purists say a woman should never cross her legs.
Also,
when crossing their legs, women must also consider whether they are wearing
pants or a skirt. If a skirt is worn, then the woman must also determine whether
she is sending a message of sex appeal or sexiness. Some actresses and news
anchors intentionally wear short skirts and sit in a posture designed to exude
sex appeal. In the world of television and entertainment, sex sells and sexiness
equals ratings, because most women secretly have a desire to be attractive like
the woman on television, while most men are attracted to a woman that is more
visually appealing. But while sexy may be right for the television anchor or
actress, it is not the right look for a female corporate executive.
For
men, sitting styles include feet close to one another on the floor with knees
spread slightly, feet on the floor with knees spread wider than the feet, one
leg on the floor with the ankle of the other leg placed on the knee, and sitting
with knees crossed in the same way as described above as the women’s scissors or
inverted V style.
The
most offensive of these four male seating types is the legs spread wide open,
essentially making his genitals the focal point of his posture. Many athletes
tend to sit like this in interviews. While such posture might be fine in the
locker room, it never works in an interview. The male sitting with his legs wide
open sends a message of overconfidence and high superiority. And while that may
intentionally or subliminally be the message the male is trying to send, a
reporter or television audience may also interpret it as a sign of ignorance or
stupidity.
A man crossing one ankle over his knee, almost in the shape of
a number 4, is the most common posture for men and is often acceptable in
interviews, but it is not without its problems. The exposed sole of your shoe
could prove to be an embarrassment, especially if it turns out that a hole has
started to develop on the shoe sole below the ball of your foot. Other times,
you may have stepped in gum, which leaves a mark on the shoe sole. There are
also multi-cultural considerations when a man sits like this. In many Asian and
Muslim cultures, exposing the sole of your shoe is a great insult, so think
carefully about your audience before sitting like this.
Men
older than 40 tend to be more likely to cross their legs at the knee, in the
inverted V style, than younger men. From a body language perspective, many
people perceive this seating style to be more feminine, especially in younger
men, even to the point of being stereotyped as being homosexual. For younger
men, such posture may even be perceived as a sign of weakness. For older men,
there is sometimes a degree of maturity or wisdom associated with this type of
leg crossing. A key indicator of whether this type of leg crossing has a
feminine or masculine appearance depends upon how far out and how high up the
raised foot is. The closer the raised foot is to the low leg, the more feminine
the appearance. The more raised the foot is in relation to the lower leg, the
more masculine the appearance. This more raised approach is really a cross
between the number 4 style and the inverted V style. One advantage this has to
the pure number 4 style is that it points the shoe sole to the floor, shielding
under-shoe blemishes and eliminating cultural insensitivity.
For
both men and women, the best posture for sitting is to bring your back slightly
away from the back of the chair, which also pushes your posterior slightly
forward on the seat of the chair. With your body weight shifted forward, it
virtually forces your feet to the floor, rather than having your legs crossed.
Once your feet are comfortably on the floor, men generally slide one foot
slightly more forward than the other. Women will do the same in some cases, but
in most cases will now find it more comfortable to cross one foot behind the
other. When attempting this style, you should not be sitting on the edge of the
chair, but just slightly away from the back of the chair.
This
slightly forward seating posture also makes it more possible for you to talk
with your hands during an interview. Talking with your hands, especially with
your palms in an upward position, is a sign of openness and honesty. It lets you
gesture with palms up to the interviewer when directing outward expressions,
while gesturing with palms up toward yourself for personal stories or to
demonstrate personal accountability.
Among
the things never to do with your hands in an interview is to flail them or pass
them in front of your face. You should also avoid crossing your hands on your
lap. Flailing is an indication that you are somewhat sporadic and lack focus.
Crossing your hands over your lap and genitals indicates weakness for men and
women. For men, having their hands crossed over their genitals is a big sign of
feeling vulnerable.
Not
only is crossing your hands over your genitals an incorrect posture when you are
sitting, it is also incorrect when standing. Commonly referred to as the fig
leaf position, hands over the genitals for a male, again, is a sign of weakness
and vulnerability, as well as weakness for a woman. Many people instinctively
cross their hands over their genitals when standing because this is the way they
have taken so many group photos from the time they were in grade school. As an
adult, it is time for you to learn that this is an old trick used by
photographers to get children to stand still and keep their hands to themselves
long enough for the photographer to snap the exposure. The trick kept Billy from
punching Bobby on the arm while the children were positioned as a group. And
from a photo perspective, crossed hands is never good photography.
Also
while standing, you should avoid swaying back and forth. This demonstrates the
same type of nervousness as swaying or swiveling in a chair. The preferred
posture when standing is to have your feet spread slightly or to place your
weight on your dominant leg.
Many
people are also confused about what to do with their hands during an interview
when they are standing. In addition to avoiding the fig leaf position, you
should never put your hands in your pockets. Placing your hands on your hips
comes naturally for some people, but from a body language perspective it is
perceived as a sign of arrogance or superiority. Generally the best default
position is to have your hands at your side then raise them between your waist
and chest for gesturing. When not gesturing, a good standby position is you have
your hands lying one inside the other just above the waist, waiting for the next
opportunity to talk with your hands and gesture.
To
wrap things up, your words will always be important, but whether the reporter or
his audience believes you will depend in part on your body
language.
