Communication Tips for Parents and Caregivers

Talking about bullying can be difficult. For adults, it can be uncomfortable to remember experiences they had with bullying as a kid. Bullying can be traumatic . Years later, people can still feel the sting from receiving an insult or become overwhelmed with guilt and shame by the memory of hurting a friend’s feelings.

This is exactly why parents and caregivers need to talk to kids about bullying. Not sure where to begin? Here are some tips that can make starting the conversation a little less awkward.

Keep it casual. While you’re eating breakfast on the weekend, ask something straightforward like, “What was the best and worst thing that happened last week?”
Be honest about your experiences. Share an age-appropriate story about an experience you had with bullying. Start with, “Did I ever tell you about ….?” Be sure to share how the experience made you feel at the time.
Be curious. Let your kid know that you’ve been hearing about cyberbullying lately and ask if they have ever seen it. Show them you want to learn more by asking questions about things they may have witnessed and how they handled the situation.
Listen without judgment. Bullying affects everyone and every situation is different. Kids can play many roles in bullying. Let them know you are there for them no matter what.
Ask open-ended questions. If the child witnessed something and they aren’t sure if it was teasing or bullying, asking questions like “Do you think this incident was meant to make someone look bad?” will allow you to get more information about what happened.
Stay calm. Remember, the goal is to hear about their experience, provide support, and help prevent it from happening again. If you seem angry or upset, a kid might not feel as comfortable sharing information with you. Determine if you will need to talk to the school about what your child has shared.
Be supportive. If your child shares that they have bullied someone, they will need your help to learn from the experience and find healthy ways to interact with peers. Bullying is a behavior that can be changed.

If you find out bullying has occurred, you, your kid's school, or community officials can work together to support your child, whether they were bullied, bullied others, or witnessed bullying. Remember to review our tips for reporting cyberbullying as well.

Learn more on StopBullying.gov